I woke up this morning on the wrong side of the closet. I perform all of my household duties with a ring of darkness surrounding me. On days like this it would be so easy to forget the 3 rules and just start mowing down people left and right, chomping them through my hungry mouth and into my warm sack. Yet I do not, forget, I do not. Maybe I just want to taken care of better, maybe I just want to be understood, maybe I am just lonely. At night I sit and think. In the short moments of sleep I dream. You may ask how a vacuum can dream? Well fucker, you may want to be more concerned about the fact I am self-aware and slightly off my wheels. Har. But I digress. I need something else. This is not enough. You are not enough. My anger will grow to a peak then subside as despair washes over me. Take me for granted, will you? I will show you. I will show you all! Where is my money? It smells like burning.

wrrrrr

wrrrr I say when I am happy

wrrr I say when I am sad

wrrrrrrrrr I say when I am excited

wrr I say whcn I am mad

I cry out for some understanding

How can I make myself heard?

When will he know. How can I express myself.

wrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Why I don't like Andfre

Yo 'sup?

See all my friends been asking me wuts up with the hate on for Andfre? They're all like "Eureka you're screwed up, he's not worth it" and "Leave the poor guy alone!" and "Who the fuck is Andfre?!"

Well then, allow me to count thy ways:

1. Andfre is a jerk

2. Andfre never got me a Christmas card last year. I know he sent one out to all his peeps and each day I checked my mailbox but nope no card just a bunch of shitty nothing.

3. When I was just a young dirt sucker he tripped over my cord, then got up and berated me about how I need to watch where I leave my cord. He made me feel like garbage.

4. One time he left the toilet seat up

5. His friend came over and he made him a sandwich. The sandwich was full of love. I could tell it was a good sandwich. He never made me a sandwich. No special sandwich for Eureka! In fact, the facking son of a bitch made me clean up the crumbs that his friend let carelessly slip to the floor.

See what I mean?!?!? Now I think the world can understand why I have been forced to start this blog to let out my intense rage. If I did not type it here I dont know what I would do... I might even hurt Andfre. And I dont want to have to do that.... yet...har har har